Feel / Heal

by Carl Gene

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Limited to 50. Feeble Mind Record Exclusive. Comes with download of "Feel / Heal"

    Includes unlimited streaming of Feel / Heal via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited to 30 on white. Feeble Mind Records Exclusive. Comes with a digital download of "Feel / Heal"

    Includes unlimited streaming of Feel / Heal via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $5 USD or more 


  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Limited to 30. Printed on Gildan.
    Design by Davood Teymooj from Tehran, Iran
    ships out within 3 days

      $10 USD or more 




This digital album is a combination of the full length, "Feel", and the EP, "Heal". "Feel" was recorded in April of 2016, and "Heal" was recorded in February of 2017. Both releases feature all brand new material, and can be given as two individual tracks upon request.


released May 28, 2017

"Feel" Credits:

Tracks 1-8
Mixed by Keith Higgins in Silver Spring, Maryland
Mastered by Lance Donati in Damascus, Maryland

Written between late 2015 to early 2016 by Carl Smith
Recorded April 3rd-6th, 2016 in Silver Spring, Maryland.

"Heal" Credits:

Tracks 9-11
Mixed, and Mastered by Carl Smith in Eldersburg, Maryland

Written in late 2016 to early 2017 by Carl Smith
Recorded February 23rd-27th in Eldersburg, Maryland

Cover Art by Davood Teymooj from Tehran, Iran



all rights reserved


Carl Gene Baltimore, Maryland

"Smith is very open about using the music as a conduit for dealing with his depression, but the gentle nature of the music and the melody coming from Smith’s voice create a healing narrative that take the ugly and force it out of the shadows. Even on the darkest days there is sunshine after the rain." ... more


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Track Name: Hurt
I hurt myself, and I made the hole even bigger.
I'm focused on relief, but the wounds grow deeper.

I don't know what I am, but I'm trying.
Take it away till I have nothing left.

I will die alone, and I will be forgotten.
My bones are aching.
Put me out of my misery.
Track Name: Afraid
I'm just afraid of growing up.
I don't really know where to go from here.

I was never taught how to cope with death.

I've lost faith in myself.
I've lost everyone that I've loved.

I've contemplated suicide just to see the other side.
Track Name: Weak
Everything I see reminds me of you.
I wish I could have withered away with you.
My heart can't take anymore abuse.
I'd starve myself again if it meant being able to see you again.
Track Name: Beaten
Beaten from birth and abandoned ; left behind like my father.
You saw me feeble, you saw me weak.
You hit me.

I no longer see loneliness.
I'm staring at it.
Track Name: Love
The sound of your voice is like the wind on the first day of Autumn.
I have never felt so free.
Stay with me.
Track Name: Alone
Don't mind me ; I just get lonely.
Being in company only makes it worse.

I've stayed alone longer than you've known.

So let it be ; If I make it out
Remind me of who I used to be.
Track Name: Numb
I grow cold and my eyes wont shut.
Five years and my hands are still numb like that night.
Still sleepless ; still cold
I am ready to come home.
Track Name: Feel
No longer numb from the pain.
My eyes are growing heavy.
There is no god above.
No devil below.
I find myself shaking back and fourth from the pain.
I feel.
Track Name: Give
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you.
I gave and left everything ; I let you take it all.
I'm dead to you.

"I miss you" ; the three words I'm used to.
I let you take it all, but I'm dead to you.
I don't want it back, just leave me with some dignity.
Track Name: Regret
I've been feeling sad again
I regret everything that I said
I cried the whole way home

I wish I could
Forget that night
Bury it deep inside my head

I won't sleep tonight
I hope and pray that you do
I hope you do.
Track Name: Miss
Covered in dirt ; The tree still moves in the breeze
I slowly remember the pain I felt on that day

I felt alone, I felt weak
I fell ; broken and torn

I finally had the courage
But saying goodbye is the hardest
I broke down

I wish you were here
I wish it were me.