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Six Years Of Relentless Grief

by Carl Gene

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it's been six years my memories of you are fading the only feeling left is abandonment after all the pain i've lost who i was and now i'm afraid of everyone leaving me i'm afraid to accept love i am deserving i am i am
i promised myself to never talk about it again im an eroding shell of the person i used to be my memory is gone and everything is a blur im fighting constant flashbacks of trauma and unease i never wanted this pain i never asked for the hurt i never wanted this pain i never my days have been dark to say the least i started praying to a god for just one day of ease i haven't been sleeping well everything is a fucking blur im fighting constant flashbacks of trauma and unease i am so fucking tired of just pushing through
don't want to be buried by the tree anymore i want to be happy and free from my hurt i will be better someday i hope someday will come soon
if there is a god why did he take my friend if there is a god why do i suffer this pain if there is a god why do i beg and plead until my voice grows hoarse i will go on without the help of god i will suffer until my heart gives out i will beg and plead to an empty sky an empty sky


The toll of writing, and putting out my last album made me quit writing music entirely.

"Six Years Of Relentless Grief" follows my personal grief process, and yearning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. While "Songs of Mourning" was released in 2019, this is the first material written in five years. This EP has been many years in the making, and has been re-written just as many. I struggled relentlessly trying to decide if I ever wanted to make this, record this, and share this with the world. I struggled finding the words.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for lifting my spirits.

Dedicated to the memory of Dane Benavidez and Peter Kovalsky. Thank you for always encouraging me.


released December 29, 2023

Recorded in November 2023.


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Carl Gene Baltimore, Maryland

"Smith is very open about using the music as a conduit for dealing with his depression, but the gentle nature of the music and the melody coming from Smith’s voice create a healing narrative that take the ugly and force it out of the shadows. Even on the darkest days there is sunshine after the rain." ... more

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