Funeral Service (August 31st, 2017)

from Songs Of Mourning by Carl Gene

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lyrics

I am speechless. Words can not describe the pain currently in my heart. All of this is so confusing, and so hard on me personally.

My mother had a heart of pure gold. She had a love of helping others before herself. She not only was a daycare provider for 28 years, but she was also a drug and addiction counselor, and at one point was doing a youth group from her home for teenagers. She always wanted to help. No matter the circumstances.

My mom was very supportive of me, and my passion of music. She attended my first show in 2010, and also opened her basement to myself and my friends to have concerts in the basement where we would have anywhere from 5 people to 90 people. On occasion when we had touring acts from other states come through, she would open up our living room or guest bedroom for them to comfortably sleep. She truly thought it was so cool that people would travel to play in our basement.

About 7 years ago, I lost my father to health issues. I was 15 or 16 years old, in the 10th grade of highschool. My mother taught me how to be strong in this situation. She taught me to keep my head up, and to keep on trudging through the mud and all the hardships we faced together. She was by my side through thick and thin, and without her there at the time, I am not sure where I would be today.

Mom was full of laughter and love. My sense of humor 100% comes directly from her. She taught me how to be compassionate and loving to everyone, regardless of who they are as a person, or what they believe in. She taught me to be myself. One of her favorite sayings was "what you see is what you get". She never tried to fool anyone.

One of my favorite memories of my mom was my fifth birthday ; and also the earliest memory I can remember. She asked me what kind of birthday I wanted, and I had told her I wanted a pirate themed birthday. She had turned the whole backyard into the Mediterranean sea. She made a huge pirate ship out of cardboard that was probably 15 feet long. She had created a story plot to be performed that involved myself, all the kids at the party, and their parents. We had a "hail storm" where the parents threw ice cubes and goldfish at us and into the boat. It was truly a birthday I will never forget.

The past couple of days have been emotionally, physically, and mentally draining. I at times have felt beyond overwhelmed and stressed. I am thankful for the support of my friends, and especially my girlfriend Kate, and her family. I do not know where I would be without their unconditional love and support. I truly and honestly am thankful.

My moms passing is unfortunate and beyond tragic, however, I believe she is out of the pain she was in, and is in a better place. Be kind, and free of judgment to everyone. We are all human. We all live in this world together. You do not know what is truly going on inside of everyones head. I love you all. Thank you.

credits

from Songs Of Mourning, released August 20, 2019

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Carl Gene Baltimore, Maryland

"Smith is very open about using the music as a conduit for dealing with his depression, but the gentle nature of the music and the melody coming from Smith’s voice create a healing narrative that take the ugly and force it out of the shadows. Even on the darkest days there is sunshine after the rain." ... more

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